1985: Worst Avid Golfer tournament

Maybe moving the Players' Championship back to March was not such a good idea. With weather heavily impacting the 2022 tournament, it appears as if a Tuesday finish is likely. The only problem is, no one knows if that is Tuesday this week or next.

It has been a frustrating time for players, spectators and television teams covering the event. Love it or hate it, the TPC Sawgrass course is an ideal location for the so-called fifth major. Providing entertainment, thrills, and spills for people at the venue and for those of us at home, the closing few holes in particular mean that this particular show is not over until the fat lady sings.

There are many tournaments I have watched in my years of following the sport that I would dearly love to play. But I'm not so sure I would like to tackle Sawgrass. As the professionals stand on the tee at the iconic 17th Island Hole, I can picture myself nervously placing my ball on the tee. Put it this way, I'm just hoping I would still have a few spare balls at this point.

As a part-timer who does manage to break 100 when I play - think of me as a dangerous 18 handicap - I have no doubt that I would be marking for a score of three figures at Sawgrass. But I would like to think that I could do a tiny bit better than the four players involved at the 1985 Worst Avid Golfer tournament launched by Golf Digest.

You haven't heard of the 1985 Worst Avid Golfer tournament? Call yourself a golf enthusiast? Well, I have to admit it is a new one on me. Back in 1984, a chat between a couple of Golf Digest editors planted a seed that would result in the search for the worst golfer in the America. Yet this was not simply a case of finding someone who had never played the game and handing them the trophy.

The criteria to determine eligible entrants was quite detailed. Aged between 25-55, the participants had to hold a USGA handicap of 36 (the maximum permitted in 1985) and play over 21 rounds a year (the national average in the US). Basically, the contenders had to be keen golfers - hence the 'Avid' part of the tournament - and Golf Digest were delighted when over 600 people entered.

This longlist was whittled down to 12, with Senior Editor Bob Carney then visiting each of the dozen hopefuls and playing a round with them to assess the suitability of the candidates. Finally, four men were chosen to play at Sawgrass on Wednesday June 19, 1985. The tale of the tape suggested that Golf Digest had selected wisely.

Angelo Spagnolo, a 31-year-old grocery store manager, had a career-best round of 111; restaurant-owner Jack Pulford's finest was 105; stockbroker Joel Mosser had hit a 106; and attorney Kelly Ireland looked a good bet for the tournament, with his lowest score 126. Gathering at Sawgrass, the four men had gained a lot of interest. Television cameras would be present for the main event.

The practice round arranged for the four men highlighted the task ahead. On the par-5 11th, Ireland played 24 shots before he reached the fairway. Pulford revealed that he only had one ball left in his bag, although the organisers ensured that there would be plenty of spares. They would be needed too, as the next day was mayhem.

 

Understandably there was excitement for the four men, but also apprehension. "I'm nervous," Pulford admitted. "I've got butterflies that won't quit." But Ireland emphasised that the day would be fun, and that the players would be determined to be best of the worst. "Everyone's going to play their hearts out to win it."

Spagnolo was well aware of the pain that was ahead of them. "This course is so challenging. It's going to be such an endurance test for the four of us." So true. Spagnolo did manage to hit his first drive 80-yards, yet Mosser, who described his swing as "a stiff, fearful, frozen attempt to hit the ball" just about managed to make it off the tee box.

The scores at the turn saw Mosser leading on 75 and Pulford in last place on 104. The contest for first place between Mosser and Ireland took a dramatic turn on the par-4 15th. Mosser's 25 shots proved crucial, as Ireland, playing in the group behind, managed to card a 12 at the same hole. Ireland would eventually claim the best of the worst crown. But there was a long, long, long time to wait for the conclusion of the event.

Poor Spagnolo. The 17th would be water torture for him. Shot after shot after shot found the water. In fact, 27 of Spagnolo's balls finished up in a watery grave. From the tee, then the drop zone, it didn't matter what he tried, Spagnolo could not keep a ball dry. Some did hit the green, but with a low skimming approach, stopping the ball on the putting surface proved impossible.

There was only one course of action to take: Spagnolo would have to putt down the cart path. After 40-minutes of pain, Spagnolo finally managed to get the ball to drop: 66 shots had been required to cover the 132 yards. Spagnolo was offered one crumb of comfort. PGA Tour Commissioner Deane Beman informed him from now on that particular strip of land would be known as 'Angelo's Alley'.

"I thought those guys were going to let me hit 300 balls if that's what it took," Spagnolo stated. "But it was getting dark, and we really had to get moving. Anyway, I'd already lost five dozen balls." The 66-shots taken on the 17th confirmed Spagnolo's status as the Worst Avid Golfer. Finishing with a 22 on the last, Spagnolo's carded a total of 257.

Ireland and Pulford had been forced to stand around on the 17th tee and watch Spagnolo's nightmare unfold. "He was out there for almost 20 minutes when I arrived at the tee," Ireland said. "And I was standing around long enough to get stiff." Ireland maintained his lead after putting seven balls in the water at 17 and taking 18 shots on the hole. Finishing with a fantastic 6 on the last, Ireland's total of 179 saw him beat Mosser by 13 shots.

Pulford finished on 208, but Spagnola's final two holes confirmed his position at the bottom of the pack. The bare statistics of the day are an indication of the severity of Sawgrass for those of us not as gifted as the lower handicappers or professionals. A final tally of 102 balls were registered to have ended up in the various water hazards, there were no greens hit in regulation, and the four players went round in a combined total of 836.

"That's why we were selected - because we're as bad as we are despite playing as much as we do," Spagnolo admitted. It would be easy to mock the four players, but what an experience they got to live through. And with a practice round, a seven-hour round for the official tournament, and so many shots hit between them, they definitely got full value for their moment of fame.