Looking back to 1986 and the time snooker made an attack on the pop charts.
"A record called 'Snooker Loopy' is released today. It is an unexceptional example of public bar sing-along, but Barry Hearn is confident that events in Sheffield's Crucible Theatre over the next 17 days will ensure that it gets into the hit parade." It was clear that the Telegraph's Michael Calvin was not a big fan of the forthcoming collaboration between Chas and Dave and Barry Hearns' Matchroom Mob. But one man's meat is another man's poison.
Everything Hearn touched in snooker back in the 1980s seemed to turn to gold. "Snooker is the most successful modern sport and no one has exploited its commercial potential more successfully than Hearn," Calvin continued. "Hearn's Matchroom Company stars - Davis, Taylor, Terry Griffiths, Willie Thorne, Tony Meo and Neal Foulds - will gross £2 million this year." But could Hearn and the sport of snooker really break into the pop charts back in April/May 1986?
"We spoke to Barry and wanted to find out the personalities and idiosyncrasies of the players involved in the song," Chas Hodges revealed in this 2000 BBC article. With Meo, Griffiths, Taylor, Thorne and Davis to work with, there was enough material available to pen a song that would be released to coincide with the 1986 World Snooker Championship.
Each player involved would have their own dedicated section in the song. But it was the chorus that became an earworm during the spring of 1986. Indeed, even now there must be a generation that know the sequence of colours solely because of Snooker Loopy, even if they don't like the sport.
"Pot the reds then screw back for the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black." Come the end of the tournament, as the song was played over and over again, anyone who did not know the order of colours on a snooker table must have had the memory of a goldfish. Or maybe some weren't as snooker loopy as me or my friends at school.
The first player under the spotlight in the song was Tony Meo. According to Hearn, Meo would always cry regardless of whether he won or lost. Chas and Dave ran with this. "And whether he wins or whether he don't," led into Meo's cameo: "I always pipe me eyeballs". Meo would exit the 1986 World Championships in the first round.
Meo's loss was not unexpected. But the departure of reigning champion Dennis Taylor in the same round was. His win in 1985 was the stuff of legend. The 18.5 million audience watching his black ball win over Davis stressed the popularity of the sport.
Taylor was a likeable winner too. Part of his appeal undoubtedly revolved around his unique glasses designed to help him in his profession. "But them long shots, he never ever got, Why? The old mind boggles. But nowadays he pots the lot." Cue Taylor: "'Cos I wear these goggles."
Hair, or the lack of it, featured for the next two verses. Whereas Terry "The Taff" Griffiths was going to buy another eight "hairbrushes for me barnet," Willie Thorne was teased about his shiny pate. "But old Willie Thorne, his hair's all gawn, and his mates all take the rise." The video, filmed in Romford, showed Davis and Griffiths trying to keep the light rebounding off Thorne's head out of their eyes.
"It's just not fair giving off that glare," continued the theme. "Perhaps I ought to chalk it," Thorne responded. The banter flowed as Davis took his turn. "Steve last year come very near to winning the snooker crown, but he never got to put it on his ginger nut, 'cos the black ball wouldn't go down."
The loss in 1985 may have been a low for Davis. But it was a marketing dream for Hearn and the sport. With snooker ruling the world, Hearn's Matchroom stable gathered many of the stars. "Now he don't care who wins this year," Chas and Dave noted. "'Cos he's got the rest of us signed up," Davis replied.
Sadly Joe Johnson had not read the lyrics, the 150/1 outsider shocking the world of snooker by winning the 1986 World Championship. Nevertheless, as the tournament progressed, and Snooker Loopy was seemingly played in every session break, it became apparent that the nation were hooked.
Charting at number 98 as the World Championship started, steadily the song climbed the charts. Up to 79, then 58 before breaking into the top 40 at number 37. But things didn't stop there. Surging to number 11 the single then broke into the top ten, peaking at number six on the chart of Sunday May 25. Appearing on Top of the Pops, there was no escape from the song.
Admittedly it may have been a little naff. But the fact that the song reached number six in the UK charts just goes to demonstrate just how big snooker, and many of the stars in it, were at the time. It was a bit of fun, a song of its time. Yes, it was never going to win the Brit Awards single of the year, yet Hearn, recognising that there was an opportunity to cash in on the popularity of snooker, exploited the opening.
"We then got delusions," Davis admits on the BBC documentary When Snooker Ruled the World. "We thought we were the dogs," he added. Oh dear. A year later, Chas and Dave teamed up with the Matchroom Mob once more for the follow-up single. The Romford Rap may have been just as catchy, but the UK public were not convinced.
The single reached number 91 in the charts and brought an end to the Matchroom Mob and their involvement in the music industry. As the sport reached saturation point and slowly the players of the 1980s started to fade away, Snooker Loopy became a soundtrack to a time when the public could not get enough of the green baize action.
"Snooker loopy nuts are we, me and him and them and me." It seemed we all were back then, even if I do write this with a slight tinge of nostalgic bias. However, one thing is certain: I will now have this song in my head for the rest of the day. But as long as Snooker Loopy keeps the Romford Rap out of my mind's playlist, I'll take that.
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