Football songs of the 1980s: Part 1

We all remember the classic football songs of the 1980s, those that made the top ten in the UK charts and are constantly mentioned when discussing the best and worst in this genre. But what about the lesser known tunes that may be lurking under the surface?

This blog looks back at five footballing songs that some of you may never have heard of, and others may be trying to forget. And take note, this is part one. There may well be more to come.

1983: Aberdeen - European Song

When Aberdeen reached the 1983 European Cup Winners’ Cup final there was an unwanted consequence. Their European Song is not a thing of beauty with the likes of Miller, McLeish, Strachan, Black, Hewitt and McGhee visiting the recording studio to record this single. “It truly is an awful song,” is possibly not a phrase you want to see in a music review. But the blogger who wrote this is justified in giving this opinion.

“We can sing, and we can play,” the players chant; fortunately, they were half right, as Real Madrid were about to discover. “And we’re going to do it for you,” was a promise kept on that memorable night in Gothenburg. For a song that does have a touch of Eurovision Song Contest about it, the following snippet was apt: “All the way, every night and day, singing a European song.” Actually, it may have fared better than most of the UK entries in recent years.

Inevitably room is made for the obligatory bag pipes, as you strangely find yourself tapping your toes even though you know you shouldn’t be. “We’ve taken our team into Europe, yes we have, ooh yes we have.” If you listen to this song a couple of times - go on, I dare you - then you may find yourself singing this repeatedly. “We’ve taken our team into Europe, yes we have, ooh yes we have.” See, I told you.

1985: Dunfermline - Eastenders

A song to mark the 100-year anniversary of Dunfermline, the convenient marriage between ground name (East End Park) and the theme tune of a new depressing soap opera (EastEnders) gave the Pars a chance to loosen their vocal cords. They even had the opportunity to visit the glamorous Pebble Mill studios in Birmingham to plug their single. Maybe the show bookers were struggling to fill the slots that week?

Assisted by Anna Wing, or Lou Beale as she was more commonly known, the players donned their black and white shirts, jiggled about uncomfortably, and belted out Eastenders. It may not have threatened to topple West End Girls at the top of the hit parade, but at least their trip to Birmingham was slightly less toe-curling than that of Owen Paul.

“Promotion is our aim, and this our season.” The players were good to their words, clinching the Second Division title at the end of the 1985/86 campaign. Top of the Pops never came calling, but the Pars were top of the table come May. Heady times for all involved. La la la la la la la.

1986: Oxford United - My Oh My

I’m not quite sure what the thinking was behind this one. After Oxford United reached the Milk Cup final in 1986, someone obviously more creative than me came up with the notion of changing the lyrics of Slade’s My Oh My to mark the occasion. Perhaps the fact that Oxford United were going to Wembley was enough to drive their supporters to exclaim “My oh my”. Or words to that effect.

After a gentle intro from lead vocalist Trina King, the fun and games kick in as the players take to the mic. “We are going to Wembley, my oh my,” the squad remind us, naturally excited at the prospect of a trip to the Twin Towers. “If we keep this team together, no one will beat us ever,” comes the next line, from the team struggling at the wrong end of the Division One table.

To be fair to the players they were not in charge of the lyrics that later had the lads swinging and pulling together. Yet in winning the Milk Cup and surviving the drop, Malcolm Shotton et al provided Oxford United fans with memories to last forevermore. Thirty years later the song was re-recorded a the after the club reached the Johnstone Paint Trophy final. But there were no players involved in the revamp. Modern football; my oh my.

1988: Wolves – We’re Back!

Times had been hard for anyone associated with Wolves for a large chunk of the 1980s. Dropping through the leagues and playing in a dilapidated stadium, for a period it looked as if the club would go out of business completely. Fortunately, by 1986 the worm had started to turn. Out went the Bhatti brothers (they sound like a poor rap act from the 1980s), in came Turner and Bull (a Midlands based police programme), and slowly the club rose again.

Winning the Division Four title and the Sherpa Van Trophy in 1987/88, Wolves players, supporters and club officials had every right to believe that they we’re back, and to celebrate the achievement, a single was produced. We’re Back! is hard to describe, but if I’m being polite then it’s like a nightmare that combines lift music, Thomas the Tank Engine, radio jingles, and awful lyrics.

“We’re back, and we’re never going to let you down again,” the song states, as the noise of raised eyebrows and sarcastic laughter from every Wolves fan sadly fails to drown out the rest of the track. “Wolverhampton, Wolverhampton, once again we’ll make you proud to sing our name.” Sing the name all you want, but I have a feeling that not many Wolves fans would be proud to sing along to this.

1989: Arsenal – We’re Back (Where We Belong)

Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a song title with a bracket in it? Since you didn’t ask, my personal favourite song title of this type is Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run), but a song by the Arsenal team celebrating that night at Anfield in 1989 pushes it close.

It’s a classic combo of cheesiness and catchiness that makes you love it (if you’re an Arsenal fan) and hate it (if you’re a music fan) in equal measure. Warning: listening to this song may result in it never leaving your brain.

“We’re back. Back where we belong. We only had a minute and then we went and did it.” Music to the ears of Arsenal supporters after 18 years of waiting for the Division One title to return to Highbury.

I did put out a plea on Twitter to see if any of the Arsenal players involved had any recollections of recording this track. Sadly, those in question have either blanked me (likely), tried to erase it from their memories (very likely), or are going all Anfield 89 on me and will leave it until the very last second to respond.